Notes to self… Please Read as Needed:
Before anyone can really “get you” you have to get yourself first. Using the phrase “they get me” seems to be the ultimate way to describe the connection between two people with no further explanation needed. I however, want specifics. Is it to be understood? Validated? Trusted? I would say these traits sound like good ones to have in a relationship with another person. But what about yourself?
Let’s rewind back a few years. I did not know what it meant for someone to “get me”. If someone asked me that question, I would have looked back with a blank stare. This lack of awareness was a classic interpretation of a “you don’t know what you don’t know” type of situation. I didn’t know the answers, because I had never been asked.
*Note* I didn’t come to this realization on my own. Going to therapy helped me to do that.
*Note* If I “get me” and I know what I need, then I can certainly work on figuring out how to give it to myself.
Important things to keep in mind:
- If asking yourself vulnerable questions feels difficult, that’s okay. It’s new and might feel weird.
- Learning to “get yourself” means taking time and being honest about what you like and what you don’t.
- Taking time doesn’t mean ending relationships. I’m suggesting incorporating more solo time into your routine and more self-talk that is (compassionately) centered around you.
- Change is hard, even the good kind.